ANewBeginning

The Physical Body which we are most aquainted with is the most necessary for growth of man in his present stage of development and it is his duty of each developed man to train his body to highest degree of perfection

It is built up of cells all working together in synergy for a common aim each cell is a miniature life form of its own. In order for mutual benefit of the whole body these cells are subordinate to control of a central mind. They obey orders given consciously or subconsciously

Cells combine into groups which manifest a group intelligence in analogy with ants or termites in their society. It also explains synergy where two minds are greater than two individual minds hence the proverb 'Two heads are better than one', and why we are social creatures.

Upon death the cells separate and scatter, decay, as the central force or mind which held cells together is withdrawn.

'Death is but an aspect of life and destruction of one material form is but a prelude to building up another'

The Astral Body is Composed of a matter of finer form than composing our physical bodies. actual matter is discovered at the scale of atoms to be somewhat ghostly see Quantum Mechanics for the actual physics of it. In essence it is found that particles only appear solid when looked on from our physical plane using physical apparatus. But mathematically they can only be treated statistically that is

each physical particle appears not to live in our time and space at all.

This Astral body is an exact counterpart of the Physical body and can on certain circumstances be separated from it; ordinary Conscious Separation (although difficult) requires a certain degree of psychical development. With Clairvoyant vision we see the astral body identical to Physical but attached by a slender cord. The astral body exists sometime after death and under certain circumstances can visible to the living this giving rise to an apparition. If apparition is unemotional it is probable the soul has left in which case it is nothing more than a corpse of finer matter. It is quite often projected into the minds eye of a relative in earnest desire with whom he is in sympathy. however normally it is invisible to the naked eye but can be seen by some clairvoyants

Under certain circumstances The Astral body of a living person can be seen by friends or others.

The mental condition of the person and/or the observer having a bearing on that.

Trained occultists project there Astral Bodies at will however such powers are rare but are becoming more common.

When death occurs the Astral Body rises out of the Physical Body and in some near death incidents people have described floating above operating tables and gave exact descriptions of there surroundings

when they were clinically brain dead and couldn't possibly have known. One woman recently had a Near Death Experience and her Astral Body actually took the registration of a hit and run driver after it hit her

and the driver was convicted in court from evidence found after the registration was chased!

Until the soul separates from the Astral Body The Astral Body is connected to the Physical body by a Astral Cord. When this snaps the soul leaves the Astral Body.

The Astral Body eventually disintegrates after death it is however just a corpse of finer matter it often has resulted in violet lights in cemeteries.

Energy is the third form, Energy pervades all forms of life. The apparent lifelessness of some things being only a lesser degree of manifestation. In 1957 the Planet Earth became a self observing living thing a bit like when our ancient ancestors discovered mirrors. Life is organised energy.

Energy was created during the first second of the Big Bang Universe when most of the matter and antimatter mutually annihilated leaving for technical reasons a tiny residue of matter which makes up all the matter in the universe!

On death each cell takes sufficient Energy The residue is returned to the environment. Energy in all forms of matter but it is not matter it is the energy or Force which animates matter. In relativity energy is the curving of space-time by matter

Energy transfer occurs when a patient undergoes magnetic healing it also may be extracted from the air molecules around us. The transfer of energy under the direction of will underlies the development of telepathy. If a person surrounds himself with strong positive thought he will develop a aura of energy which enables him to resist the thought waves of others.

The Mental Principles Of Man again arte subdivided into four categories New Western theories of the mind suggest we have an objective mind and a subjective mind however such scientists and psychologists have set the conscious mind aside as the objective mind but bundled the 'Highest' and 'Lowest' qualities of mind in same class as the Subjective Mind. In fact the objective mind very nearly corresponds to the conscious or intellectual mind.

The Subjective however corresponds to the Subconscious , Unconscious or Instinctive mind

The superconsious mind has no scientific equivalent but many refer to it as the spiritual mind.

The Three lower principles of Man that is; Physical Body , Astral Body and Energy , these are the most material in that they are conserved i.e. The conservation of Mass-Energy and since mass or matter is a concentrated form of Energy (hence Einstein's Theory Energy is equivalent to matter multiplied by the Speed of light squared E=mc2 These principles as far as Ego is concerned they are merely used in connection with ones earth life just as man uses clothes heat and electric for example.

Four higher principles form the thinking part of man the fourth being not accessible at this stage of mans development. Hence man is likened to Three minds functioning along one line or One mind functioning along Three lines.

The Instinctive Mind, From the Mineral Kingdom Through the plant kingdom some form of rudimentary consciousness becomes apparent. Whereas we move into the Animal Kingdom it becomes more distinct When we reach Man and a lot of higher mammals today The Instinctive Mind becomes subordinate either wisely or unwisely to the conscious or intellectual mind.

The Instinctive mind is most useful to man at this stage of development he in fact could not exist as a physical being without it. The Instinctive Mind is the most valuable servant of man if he understands it however do not allow it control.

Man is a growing creature who has reached is present position after a toilsome journey however it is merely sunrise yet. The Intellectual Mind , The 5th Principle has unfolded to a certain degree particularly in more advanced men of today.

The Instinctive Mind works our bodies with repair , replacement and digestion in fact some scientists say the bodies entire makeup is replaced every 10 years

The work of the instinctive mind is performed well in lower animals until in higher forms the intellectual begins to unfold which often meddles with work properly belonging to this area of mind this problem is however only temporary.

Evolution gave us the instinctive mind which by the process of Evolution gave us a fighting instinct which was essential to protect ourselves. It is however still with us and it projects itself into our mentality

with a surprising degree of strength. It also explains why birds build nests and some mammals hibernate. When we learn to do things by 'heart' such as say driving a car or learning a foreign language we have really mastered them on the intellectual plane it is then passed on to the instinctive plane.

There was two islands in the pacific each populated with a number of primates of the same species. Now one of these primates learned a new way of washing some nuts, within time all the primates on this particular island found this practise better and did the same. What was found was when most of the primates on this particular island had learned this method the other island on which the same species of primate were oblivious to spontaneously acquired the same practise.

This is the way of evolution not just physically but if you like psychically when the intellectual mind is involved.

The higher planes of instinctive mind blend into the intellectual The instinctive mind is also the habit mind whereas the intellect is for ideas. The Instinct will faithfully carry out to the letter unless corrected or given better instructions

The emotions of the instinctive mind are:-Appetites , passions , desires , instincts , sensations , feelings

emotions of low order , hunger , thirst , sexual desires , physical love, Hatred , envy , malice , jealousy , revenge , desire for material possessions Lust of flesh etc....

Many of the brute instinct still with us , evident in undeveloped people who want of a better word remain one step removed from Neanderthal man.

Wise people learn to subordinate the instinctive mind

Creatures having well developed four principles have passions but no reason , emotions but no intellect, desires but no rational will. From here comes the concept of the I. A man of strong intellect begins to think for himself , he analyse , classify , separate and deduce.

Self consciousness is the product of the Intellectual mind without it a creature may know but only with the aid of self consciousness will he know that he knows. With this new awakening comes enlightenment and quite often it can follow tragic events in ones life. The domination of the Instinctive mind by the Intellectual is what is so commonly termed Growing Up. With this unfoldment comes all the wonderful physical achievements of Modern life; Telephones , TV , Computers and Coffee machines!

But these are nothing compared to what is yet to be

Remember there are two higher principles on the list The Sixth and Seventh principles of Super conscious and Spirit

There are many obstacles in your life on the physical plane, your progress may sometimes seem retrograde but progress is always forward. Sometimes the awakening of intellect only tends to give men a more

material inclination and increased powers to gratify their low instinctive desires and inclinations.

The higher the level of intellect in man of this kind the greater the depths of low passions , appetites and desires possible to him.

The brute nature may exert a pull downward but the Superconscious or spiritual mind will give you a helping hand and sustain you

But only if you trust it.

remember the saying;

If you only believe what you see why do you pay your electric bill

Some only believe what they see through our brains interpretation

of what is in the Physical World.

Others believe what they see in both interpretations of reality

The Astral and the Physical.

We have practically conquered but a few square miles of the intellectual

mind , many so called civilised people allow others to do their

thinking for them and follow leaders with the stupid habit of sheep.

The Superconsious or Spiritual minds Manifests in only a limited number of the human race they can be likened to the Jedi's in star wars!

The entire human race receives some of the beneficial rays however in some cases the light is so bedimmed by the dense material obstacles surrounding the man.

The modern theories of super gravity do require a creator to act as an outside observer why cant this be the modern God? However many scientists are so ashamed the admission of what is staring them in the face They feel the need to hide behind barriers such as the Anthroptic Principle:

There is a very delicate balance in nature; For instance ,if the Strong nuclear force that acts on the quarks that make up the protons and neutrons that in turn make up the nucleus of the atoms which make up the 111 Elements that the physical world is built on the only stable element would be Hydrogen in which case no life possible. If the strong nuclear force were slightly stronger in relation to electromagnetism,

the force that regulates the way leptons i.e. electrons and neutrinos then a atomic nucleus containing just two protons would become a stable feature of the universe. That would mean hydrogen would not exist, and the stars and galaxies would have evolved, if at all, in a way far different from the way they have

If the constant of gravity was 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times weaker than the strong nuclear force instead of; 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times weaker our universe would be small and swift the average star would have only 1 trillionth the mass of the sun and would exist for about 1 year hardly enough time for complex biological phenomena such has man to develop.

If gravity were less powerful than it is , then matter would not have congealed into stars and galaxies and the universe would be cold and empty.

A Universe like ours with galaxies and stars is quite unlikely If one considers the possible constants and laws that could have emerged, the odds against a universe that has produced life like ours is immense

Then there's the problem of entropy. This measure of perpetually increasing decay and chaos which declares that any change in the universe will leave it more disorganised. evidence is everywhere; Cars rust , Stars grow old and die , people get old , mountains erode and buildings collapse.

If the universe is like a watch slowly running down how did it get wound up in the first place? How do scientists explain this?

Things are as they are because we are According to another anthropic principle;

There are a large number of different and separate universes Each has different physical parameters for its initial conditions Most will not have the right conditions for intelligent life

However a small number there will be parameters as in our universe In those it will be possible for intelligent life to develop and ask Why is the universe as we observe it? Otherwise there would be nobody to observe it

The anthropic principle is a sort of half argument that doesn't really address our curiosity about the universe but is the best science can do

And thou shalt love the lord, thy god , with all thy heart, and with all thy soul and with all thy mind and with all thy strength and Thy shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

The Spiritual plane gives an abiding sense of the reality of existence of a supreme power This power passes to intellect certain truths (for want of a better word) which it finds in its own region of mind. They do not originate from intellect. Intellect is cold; Spiritual is warm and alive with high feeling.

Why is man kind to fellow man? Not by cold intellectual reasoning since our society give rise to desires and impulses which render it difficult to think of others without suffering discomfort and pain and can lead to depression in people of high intellectual development but low spiritual advancement.

each follow own line of effort the ' I ' torn and bruised in its efforts to adjust itself.

The spiritual mind is often a source of inspiration for poets , writers ,preachers it is also a source of visions

Many have concentrated themselves to high ideals and received rare knowledge they have attributed it to beings of another dimension e.g. Angels Spirits and God.

That is not to say higher intelligence's don't communicate to man- we know they do through the spiritual mind. However much of mans attributes to higher intelligence's has really come from himself.

The development of Spiritual Consciousness may bring him to places intellect dare not dream

There are those who only believe what they see Others , Wise ones see what they believe.....

Psychic powers are available but rarely obtained by those integrated into modern society (due to negative thought of disbelievers those who only see in Black and White) to those who have risen far above there lower nature. Only when man ceases to care for the power for personal use does the powers unfold - such is natures law. As one unfolds spiritual consciousness one learns more to trust the inner voice the guiding light.

Finally the seventh is Spirit

How can finite express infinite.

Divine spark, ray from central sun.

Drop in spirit ocean.

A particle of sacred flame.

Cause of Evolution.

First to appear and last to appear in full consciousness nearest to God

Only occasional precious moments are we aware of its presence such moments can change peoples lives , Near death experiences. Spirit is the ultimate state of evolution

The Keymaster

I feel really important at the moment since for our Thursday Big Book study group at Holmfirth I have been trusted with the key to the tranquil little church and this is the first time I have been given any real responsibility in the AA.

Also tonight I was asked to share at the same venue for our Monday group by The Doctor so I am feeling like I am being really accepted into the AA finally after nearly 5 months on the fringes.

As I sit here in front of my keyboard I can see the key to the church and also I am in charge of tea, coffee, milk and Biscuits which is such a honour, I will be able to get there before anyone arrives and say my own private prayers to my higher power in the little chapel that joins to the meeting room.

I have finally moved on to Step 8 of the program since my sponsor has declared my graduation from the Siamese twin steps 6 and 7, my defects have not been removed but I feel I am now very much aware of them.

As for making amends I have very few people left who still talk to me from what feels very much like a life so long ago when I was drinking.

Two “drinking friends” spring immediately to my mind, The Gangster (who kindly brought me back from Skipsea after I couldn’t drive) and The Shadow, who I have sunk more beer with in my drinking days than probably anyone else including my dog Miss Boley.

Both these people have had to destroy many chairs and sofas that I have left saturated after falling asleep when I was away with the fairies at there respective houses.

Whilst The Gangster I have tried to keep in touch with even though he still drinks vast quantities of alcohol, The Shadow I have completely ignored in order to have any chance what-so-ever with moving on with this program, since he was one of those people who “pulls himself up by pulling others down”.

I really do believe certainly in the latters case it may be best to let sleeping dogs lie!

Both my parents have had to put up with a lot with my drinking, but I live with them and I think the best amends I have made has been simply getting sober, they have seen me night after night disappearing off to these secret AA meetings and coming back with a contented happiness that I have lacked for a very long time.

I have started going to my sponsors SS’s house every Tuesday and he is usually joined by his sponsor, Christopher Columbus who told me when I discussed the subject about amends to my Parents that sometimes the best amends you can make is not making amends but just carry on with the example.

I think I definitely owe my Brother, Forest a long apology but he is now sectioned in a mental hospital and of course my son Luke and niece Squeaky have encouraged me every step of the way along this road to sobriety.

Then theres my cat, Starry, who used to get shouted at every morning when I was drinking and of course my poor dog Miss Boley who has had to put up with all sorts of mischievous stunts, and still runs a mile when I mention the word “Swim” after many walks down by the river in my drunken days some 151 days ago.

My Ex Acid Tongue has been known to make life really difficult for me in the past, including denying me contact with Luke but I honestly think she sees me in a totally different light now a days maybe seeing how much the program, my higher power and my friends in the AA have changed me.

Despite all the wrongs all these people (and animals) I feel have done to me in the past, it is as the big book says a question of cleaning my side of the street and if they want to leave there side all messy that’s up to them.

Then there is all those people who I work with at The Simpsons, but with the takeover and all the events immediately before the takeover many have now left and also I really don’t want to draw too much attention to my past misdemeanours with all these new people floating about.

This is where I am in the program at the moment and next Tuesday I am going to go through my dreaded Step four again which I still have on my computer somewhere and draw up that proverbial list.

Christopher Columbus also mentioned another important amend we should all make which is to ourselves, which I cant really understand yet about that one.

Everything else in my life is going okay, I had a bit of a shock Monday night after my dad’s motobility car was vandalised whilst parked outside my mums garage resulting in a large dint above the fuel cap and the nearside wing mirror completely smashed.

I have a theory that this was the work of someone who is feeling envious at my success in staying sober and making a new life for myself anyway it is all being sorted out by the insurance but it did leave me feeling angry but after it was shared at an AA meeting that soon evaporated.

On the work front, it feels like the lull before the storm and even with my Jedi like insights into the future it is still difficult to see what is going to happen there since it depends on too many variables yet.

I have truly given up trying to control my life now, I know such a job is safe with my higher power, only he knows what is best for me and my resistance to accept change can only be futile.

It has been a long time since we all last visited Robin Hoods Grave, so with an afternoon to kill on this bright Saturday Afternoon, myself, Miss Boley, Luke and Squeaky headed off for they 1 ½ mile journey to find it.

My last unofficial trip to Robin’s grave had been around five years previously and I was a little worried about finding it again, even in the bright but setting sunshine. The grave is well hidden beneath an almost impenetrable jungle of dense undergrowth and rhododendron bushes, which mysteriously seem to change shape every time I go looking for it!

We all helped Miss Boley, who is a dog, to climb over the six foot wall which separates the enchanted wood from Wakefield Road which is the main road into Brighouse,. Scrambling, rather than leaping (for passing cars were a non stop stream and we were forced to be seen, hence the haste) we plunged into a treacherous morass of deep fern, brambles and stinging nettles.

The first stage of our quest was to ascend the steep wooded hillside leading to the overgrown King’s Highway, the medieval road from London to York. This was simple enough despite the rampant foliage and in my mind I knew the way towards Robin’s grave once we reached this point. Turn right through the rhododendron tunnel. There was another way, if you turned left, but this involved climbing a sheer rockface which I had christened the North Face, but I had only taken that route once and was more familiar with the alternate way. So much for the theory!

Once in the bushes I became hopelessly lost, though I recognised the ancient tree standing in a clearing in the middle of the undergrowth. It stood like a guardian witch to the labyrinth, primeval and terrifying, it’s grotesque branches reaching out, as though casting some hideous spell upon us. Whatever the cause, I missed the vital exit and Squeaky, Luke Miss Boley and I were soon swallowed up by gigantic ferns and creeping, strangling brambles and stumbling and struggling through a murderous green wilderness. Fierce thorns stabbed and scratched us like living creatures, monstrous stinging nettles attacked our faces and hands and great holes lay in wait for us to fall into……….

“Help!” cried Squeaky, as once more she crashed into a crevasse, with me following on top of her.

We stumbled upon the mysterious “tower”, a Victorian shooting lodge built on the site of a Roman fort and now completely buried in the glorious purple and red rhododendron bushes. Robin’s grave was in the same deplorable state as I last remembered it, all green, mouldering, tumbled stones and rusted, twisted railings. The same ominous atmosphere of complete silence, the curious absence of birdsong, made my hair stand on end. Nothing had changed. “Something” was still there.

Luke, Myself and Squeaky held hands as we leaned over the walls and tried to link in with the hovering forces. We had no difficulty in contacting Robin’s presence but all I could feel was the cold, dark oppression, the abomination of desolation. When, I wondered, would Robin’s grave receive it’s blessing and be freed from the evil which surrounded it? When would we see Robin rightly honoured for the place he held in English history? And why did so famous and universally loved a hero continue to be totally neglected in death?

Very few people of our local neighbourhood know of this graves existence and fewer people still claimed to have been there, as we rounded into a clearing I saw three hooded “ghosts” in broad daylight floating out of the undergrowth.

Transfixed I stared at the spectacle, over in the distance oblivious to this Luke, Miss Boley and Squeaky were walking unaware of the strange vision before me, quicky I reached for my camera and too a picture.

A sort of buzzing feeling was echoing in my ears as the image faded from my field of vision to be interrupted with Squeaky coming over to where I was saying whats the matter Uncle Michael?

“I think I have just seen a ghost?” I remember replying but I was sure with all those years of drinking that my eyes was still easily fooled by what my mind was used to reasoning should be there.

I was only 153 days sober and the number of times in the past when I have heard voices and seen things that I cannot explain I can no longer count however when I got home and developed the digital photo of the scene, the images I had seen were clearly visible.

The death of Robin Hood is a well-known legend. He was treacherously bled to death by the wicked prioress of Kirklees nunnery, a small Cistercian house near Brighouse, West Yorkshire. The outlaw's gory and unheroic end is shrouded in mystery.

All that is left of this medieval whodunit is a ruined grave, hidden in deep woodland, and the derelict priory gatehouse of Kirklees where Robin was so gruesomely done to death. Was the famous outlaw a victim of thwarted passion, pagan sacrifice, bad nursing, accident, natural causes or vampirism? The entire area where this horrific drama took place is shrouded in, according to one old book, a mystery that local people only reluctantly tried to penetrate. The mystery was helped physically by the thick shroud of trees that surrounded the place and was sustained by local tales of prioresses and nuns and of the death of Robin Hood.

We made our way over to the tower and as I have already said this place is covered in rhododendron bushes resembling from the outside a perfectly square shaped tree, Squeaky and Luke climbed the steps ahead of me and peered round the corner.

Only to come back down twice as fast complaining they wanted to get away from this haunted woods and something about floating lights, I quickly ran up the steps and pointed my camera into the gloom and took a photo with full flash before we all made a hasty retreat.

It was just coming dusk on this January day as we all raced down the hill away from the presence; it was almost like coming out of a time machine from the past back to the safety of the main road.

Then we walked back to my mums house carefully recounting the incidents, Squeaky said when she was safely back on the black track which takes us back to The Quarry and home that we should visit the grave after dark tonight.

Needless to say we all later decided against that idea, it is so strange that a grave of someone so nationally and indeed internationally famous can be hidden from view by a combination of something dark far from the midst of the past and so much folklore and dogma.

I think when we were drinking it was like climbing a mountain when everyone was walking the other way, we made it so incredibly hard for ourselves going against the natural flow of life.

Now I have given up the drink, taken the blinkers off my eyes and have turned round to join the majority of people who are walking down the mountain with the force of life helping there progress instead of pushing against it I have gradually come to realise that there is a hidden meaning behind our existence on this planet.

The first thing I became aware of with my gradually awakening spiritual mind was a accelerating number of coincidences especially when around the members of the fellowship.

It was as if the members of the AA and other spiritual groups like them were gradually forming a critical mass of individuals who experience there lives as a spiritual unfolding, a journey which we are lead forward by mysterious events which at first appear random.

Even in my dreams in the early days it was as if something to which for a better word we were encouraged to recognise as our “higher power” was watching over us leading us towards decisions we had to make in the near future.

As I became more deep rooted into the steps and the program being surrounded by like minded individuals who also had come to believe that there was more to this life than keeping up with the Jones’s.

A further awakening occurred from somewhere far deep inside me that represented a creation of a new and more complete world-view, which gradually began to replace the 500-year-old preoccupation with secular survival and comfort.

I remember being at school and college then finally at University learning Physics which I ultimately hoped would give me the answers to why we were here, but all I could see was a cold mechanical universe which everything was controlled by precise laws and this left me disillusioned.

I have come to believe that these technological obsession was a important step but our awakening to lifes coincidences is opening us all up to the real purpose of human life on this planet and the real nature of our universe.

Indeed I did glimpse a fleeting vision in my quest to understand the two cornerstones of the scientific revolution of the 20th century, Quantum Mechanics and Einsteins General Relativity which by there very nature threw out a lot of the world being objective in the conventional sense.

We no longer live in a material universe but in a universe of dynamic energy, the solid mass of a table is in fact a seething mass of energy vibrations that are continually interacting with each other.

In fact the entire physical world is but a shadow of something far more fundamental, a cosmic consciousness that we can occasionally sense and intuit.

Moreover we humans can project our energy by focussing our attention in the desired direction, influencing other energy systems and increasing the pace of coincidence in our lives.

All too often humans cut themselves off from the greater source of this energy and so as a result feel weak and insecure and indeed I believe a lot of the problems in the world can be attributed to people manipulating others to get there attention and therefore there energy.

When we successfully dominate others in this way, we feel more powerful but they are left weakened and so often fight back, competition for scarce human energy is the cause of all conflict between people.

In the AA we learn that we can only help ourselves by helping others and this is where insecurity and violence end, we become in touch with a divine energy that lies deep within ourselves.

Many mystics throughout generations stretching far back into our ancient past have discovered a sense of lightness and buoyancy, a sense of constant love is a result of tuning into this connection with a plentiful supply of divine energy that is all around us if we only removed them blinkers.

The more we stay connected, the more we become acutely aware of those times when we lose connection, usually when we are under stress, and during these times we become consciously aware of our own particular way of stealing energy from others.

In the AA we become aware of this when we encounter our defects and shortcomings during steps six and seven (which the Wise One acknowledged to be a single step but alcoholics of the past split them in two).

Once our manipulations are brought into personal awareness, our connection to the force becomes more constant and then we can discover our own growth path in life, and our spiritual mission, the personal way we can contribute to the world.

Knowing our personal mission further enhances the flow of mysterious coincidences as we are guided towards our destinies and what George Lucus and I have come to envisage as the force.

By engaging with the flow of this force and become real Jedi’s then first we have a question, then dreams, daydreams and intuitions lead us toward the answers, which are synchronistically provided by the wisdom of another human being.

We can increase the frequency of guiding coincidences by uplifting every person that comes into our lives. Care must be taken not to lose our inner connection in romantic relationships.

That is why uplifting others is especially effective in groups where each member can feel the energy of all the others and what makes the AA so powerful, because when we arrive there alcohol has usually driven from us all the resistance to these far reaching principles which has been brainwashed into us from an early age.

With children it is extremely important to their early security and growth to acknowledge there positive traits rather than the negative.

Indeed by seeing the beauty in every face we lift others into there wisest self and increase the chances of hearing the synchronistic message.

I think mankind is entering a new culture and as we all evolve toward the best completion of our spiritual missions, the technological means of survival will be fully automated as humans focus instead on synchronistic growth.

Such growth will move humans into ever-higher energy states, ultimately transforming our bodies into spiritual form and uniting this dimension of existence with the afterlife dimension, ending the cycle of birth and death.

Conquest So Far

Getting sober and beginning to experience life with a clear head has been the best thing I have ever done, when people talked of a life beyond your wildest dreams, I would quietly smirk to myself but now I am beginning to experience that peace of mind though often fleeting, when it comes it is a godsend.

The AA meetings are going real well, last Friday I shared again at Huddersfield for the first time since that abysmal share back on New Years Eve when I pretended I was a medium and everyone nearly fell asleep.

This time I think I was more upbeat and talked openly about my new venture into spiritualism that was met by a great deal of scepticism by the other members who I think quietly thought that I should keep things simple.

Yoda commented after my share that he thought I wouldn’t have a snowballs chance in hell of making it this far into the program when he picked me up that fateful day some 161 days ago and took me to my first meeting.

On Saturday last week I was asked to share again on steps 1,2 and 3 at Dewsbury but I complained that I was overloaded and politely declined the invitation by Asda Mick and this act left me feeling bad all weekend while my mind played about my share on Monday night at Holmfirth.

So Monday night eventually came like it does and I was for the seventh time in my AA career seated at the top table with The Doctor this time as the Chair and told the audience of my continuing battle with alcohol.

I was glad to see that Tommy Lee was still present our latest newcomer who seems to have developed a taste for AA, I told them about my conquest of the steps up to where I am with making Amends and my embarrassment at even the thought of completing this step with the action in step nine.

I told them about work and in particular the way my colleagues there seem to feel I have changed even with the stress that has come our way since The Simpsons took over the reigns of Hogwarts.

The Ragdoll was first to give me feedback commenting how my own description of the climb up the AA ladder was without the typical AA jargon probably because I had not yet had time in my comparatively short AA career to be fully brainwashed.

Miss Finn who had recommended that I complete my soul searching with a book called “The Celestine Prophesy” encouraged me to continue to view the world with a open mind while after the meeting my sponsor paid me the agreed fee for advertising his sponsorship skills with such enthusiasm.

I had shared what a absolutely wonderful sponsor JM SS had been, even though his immediate reaction after reading my personal inventory with me in Step 5 was the comment “You mucky b*stard!”

The share went very well and I got a lot of positive feedback from the members only Yoda had thrown my confidence by his absence after commenting on Friday after my last share that if I was sharing again he was “definitely not f*cking turning up”, I also shared this with the group.

Tuesday we were all highly entertained at our Huddersfield meeting when William Shakner from Star Trek turned up completely p*ssed to do a share about how he had travelled the world and appeared on TV and was having a book written about him and behind me was sat the dreaded Darth Vador whose noisy respiration made the airs of my neck stand on end.

On Thursday it was my debut experience as the Keymaster at Holmfirth and I arrived some 45 minutes before anyone else was due to set up all the table and boil the kettle before kneeling in the little side chapel in front of the huge cross at the alter.

I could really feel for the first time in my life a immense presence in that room and it was as if all my problems were lifted away and I had a glimpse of true serenity, the life which I had been always striving for, the last time I felt like this was back in 1990 when I think I had a near death experience.

The “cosmic experience” as I want to refer to it as was fleeting but it left me feeling so calm, it was as if for a few brief moments I was one with the entire universe, I will look forward to next week to see if I can capture that experience again.

The Video I have placed at the front of this message was a result of Saturdays escapades with my son Luke, I have obtained a 256MB memory card for my digital camera so I can capture video and archive them on to CD, the above video is 4MB and took nearly 10 minutes to upload on to this website.

I think it captures Luke who is happy with his new dad, and Luke is the most important person in my life, if I can make up for all the bad I have done before I die then my quest for peace will be complete, he is definitely at the top of my amends list.

Do you know how us alkies make insurmountable problems out of small things, I think that is the case at work, the new Simpsons empire would probably have been better in retrospect refered to as The Flintstones.

I cannot believe a huge multinational company can have a computer system that resembles something cooked up in the early 1970s, indeed there new Potatoe system that is poised to take over from BaaN makes BaaN look like a epitome of pure well thought out sophistication.

Indeed I think it will be interesting times for me in the next year or so on the career front of course praying one day at a time that I don’t slip back from where I came, anyway I will keep you all posted.

The Wheels Keep Fallin Off

I am 167 days sober today as I write this and am involved in the AA either at a meeting or a visit to my sponsors house every night since the day I joined.

Tonight at Dewsbury at our step meeting about the amendment steps #8 and 9 Jedi Master Mace Windu said the three of us, The Messiah, The Future Rugby Player and Myself were sat there like three monkeys with nothing to add to the meetings discussion.

There was also this lady there who was very inebriated and kept interrupting the meeting to make comments about Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles’s imminent wedding amongst other things.

I have also been at a few shares this week when someone sharing was critically referred to by another member of the group but then again in the past he had been known for his silly comments after the famous line my name is fearless frank and I am an alcoholic

Once he told us a story of how he had visited the dentist just recently and had accidentally pinched the dentists’ drill and brought it home with him adding that he actually had the item with him that very night.

He then produced from his bag a 18 inch long ¾ inch thick wood drill that would be at home in a well equipped joiners shop.

Just recently however he proceeded to read a large extract from Living Sober about those of us seeking professional help and then continued with a long list of activities that took place at the forum he had chosen which left everyone looking at there watch or hoping for one of those long uncomfortable silences.

I think when I first started coming to the AA I was a bit like Fearless Frank and didn’t really care what came out of my mouth as long I was participating in the meeting, but gradually has time as gone on and feelings have returned so have embarrassment and self-consciousness which have left me tongue tied.

I am now of the opinion if you have nothing decent to say don’t bother saying anything but now I am taking this line of thought a little too far and the longer you remain silent the harder it becomes to say anything.

In some ways I also feel I am crazier now than when I was drinking, probably because of the fact that I wasn’t aware of my defects and also had that powerful anaesthetic to look forward to that would at least shut down this nutty brain of mine for a while.

I have even found myself thinking occasionally, if the entire AA was just a cult or that everyone was part of a huge conspiracy pact against me and sometimes questioning what a load of people sat in a room once a day for a hour babbling a load of aimless twaddle was really supposed to achieve.

I know about the part of “how it works” from the big book the part that describes alcohol as cunning, baffling and powerful, that these thoughts come from a part of myself, who longs to be reunited with his crutch a bit like a baby desires his dummy.

When I think back to my past, maybe fifteen or sixteen year ago I remember being at University of York reading a Physics Degree and I was expected as part of my assessment to do a seminar which involved a presentation in front of all my colleagues.

My three years at University should have been the best years of my life but I never was part of it, in fact other than the first six months there I never talked to anyone there and no one ever talked to me.

Now I was expected to do this speech in front of this clique and have them all sniggering at me, I should of known even then that I suffered from mental and emotional problems but I could not admit that, it was everyone else who had something wrong with them I was fine.

I remember thinking that if the sober Michael was too shy to do this talk then the drunk Mad Mick would pull this task off easily after all he could be seen regularly on the dance floors of Rooftop Gardens, well that was if you could fight your way through the army of fans and admirers.

So I sat in the University Library on the big day and happily consumed a quarter bottle of Bells whiskey before pulling off what I thought was a spectacular performance in front of all the mesmerised students.

In reality it was more like a clumsy act with transparencies from the projector falling all over the auditorium floor and writing on the whiteboard that resembled the scrawling of a primary school pupil with severe dyslexia.

Since that day my reliance on alcohol, this magical substance which could give a instant hit of self confidence when it was needed mushroomed out of control and in the end like many others who share the rooms with me every evening I needed it just to function.

When the drink was voluntarily withdrawn all the fear returned and all the magical abilities I had gained disappeared and I was back as Sober Michael who simply was too self-conscious to talk at meetings even when those who sat around me were my friends.

I sit in envy at these people who seem to be able to talk with such confidence, on Friday at Brighouse this guy had us all in hysterics when he described how he looked after his sisters farm when he was as usual heavily under the influence and all the sheep ended up munching the flowers in the local gardens of the village which was famous for its blooming flowers.

He also ended up loosing his sisters £900 cow.

By some coincidence I am sat here at my computer screen and me, Luke and Squeaky are watching Stephen Kings “IT” where a group of young people who are powerless as individuals against this crazy clown seem to have a power of the being as long as they stick together in unity.

Maybe this is the bottom line with the AA when you get past all the baggage and brainwashing crap.

For so much of my life I have turned the other way and sought the only solution that was easy, to escape with anything that was mind altering failing to realise that a greater and greater quantity of the desired poison was always required to achieve the same effect.

Eventually after 2 decades of continuous abuse which feature what I think were a couple of visits to the afterlife dimension I decided that escaping from reality using alcohol was simply a much too painful way to commit suicide.

My solution to lifes problems no longer would work, many years ago when I was at University as a struggling and antisocial student I saw alcohol as a gateway to a life which lacked the straight jacket of this crazy brain I had found myself with.

I could dance and talk and laugh without any of that self-consciousness but then when the clock struck twelve and the glorious chariot became once again a pumpkin I would wake up a completely different person again with a residue of fear and a longing to be once again care-free and crazy again.

Nothing was safe from me that could achieve a high but luckily I managed to steer myself away from a lot of heavy drugs that were offered to me however my motorcycle petrol tank became another world of mystery to me that was relatively cheap escape.

I feel whilst under the influence of high-octane vapours I visited another world where I was the centre of attention once again and I can only surmise looking back that I was in the company of my soul group who had been my companions during this and indeed many lifetimes in the past.

My Dad was always very aloof and full of worry whereas my mother was so very caring who would have nothing if she didn’t have two sons to care about, she was also an extremely strong person and I certainly owe her the greatest of amends.

My Brother Forest had a great life up until he was quarter of a century old, everything went his way and nothing he could do would go wrong he was one of those who no matter what happened always came up smelling of roses.

But in this journey of life one must always have there fair share of tribulations and when his came they came with vengeance, one thing after another until finally he gave up the struggle and went under and now many years later he is sectioned in a mental hospital.

My own path of life took my right to the very gates of life and I can still vividly remember being stood with some being of light and been taken on a life review of the first 21 years a bit like “This Is Your Life” but with a fourth dimension tagged on to the all very familiar three.

I came out of hospital ready to live life with new vigour and found myself with the first person who I can say that I actually loved and decided to follow my graduation with a Physics Degree with a job as a labourer at a local engineering company where my duties included emptying bins and mopping out the bogs.

For nine years I worked at this establishment and I felt for the first time in my life that I belonged somewhere, I also became a father to a wonderful and very spiritually advanced son and moved in to live with his mother.

A darker part of my personality that had lied in wait for so long gradually became the dominant feature of my many masks and this was further and further drawn out by consumption of ever-greater quantities of ethyl alcohol and water.

Fast forward to the turn of the millennium and I found myself reduced to nothing, I had been made redundant prematurely from my pitiful little job, my son had been taken away and I was laying on a piss wet through but rotten mattress in a pokey one bedroom flat.

I was going to my ninth interview tomorrow but it was my second one at the same place, someone who I can only refer to as “The Lady Who Must Be Obeyed” had seen something in me that I could not see.

Maybe it was there somewhere, a tiny spark of spirit that had not yet quite been extinguished by all the lies, deceit and ignorance.

So Hogwarts as it was then known nearly four years ago became acquainted with what was left of the legendary (in his own head) “Mad Mick” and this chapter of the soap opera was started…

I found that I was working with lots of beautiful young girls who seemed happy which was far removed from those miserable old men who lived in the old soap opera whose stories were told far and wide culminating in “The Precipice” then a long barren silence.

Here I had found fertile ground where I could lie low and gather my strength, where I could grow strong roots and learn, this was the place where I could pick up where I left off far in the past before visits to the afterlife became my preoccupation.

A lot of the characters became like brothers and sisters to me in this new venue, Inspector Clueso with his dedicated and painstaking search for the dried lumps of clay that were produced as a by product of all these thespians and Barnsley Bill with his broad Yorkshire accent that would have been understood perfectly one hundred years ago down the coal pits that peppered the countryside of his old town.

In the coming years I realised I had finally found my soul group here in the earth dimension but still alcohol continued to be my supreme master a power that was much greater than my own.

Our happy little family was also under the control of the vast empire that was doing its best to destroy the strong feelings of team ship that drew us all together working as a strong proverbial synergy.

Many characters had come and gone when the year 2004 was drawing to a close a time when uncertainty and fear had gone on to become a epidemic, a time when Big Brother was holding on to the reins and Harry Potter the purse strings.

It was also August 31st 2004 when I had finally decided to put my hands up and admit that I was an alcoholic that was to begin another concurrent journey with the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

My job was on a computer which I had to interrogate to provide information using Bill Gates’s Access package, indeed when I think back to the early eighties about the collective vision of computers that would occupy the new millennium, it was a picture of being sat in front of some huge talking monster that you could verbally ask questions to.

The reality is that with even simple requests like what was our current stock of blocks of dried clay one year prior to the current day requires extensive complex interrogation to provide a answer.

Although I was paid very little for my enthusiasm at seeking answers such as these I could supplement my income with a bit of begging at the nearby White Rose shopping complex and I also seemed to get a great deal of mental satisfaction from my work.

With the start of 2005 our family found that they had been sold and our Division lost its name as Hogwarts and became known temporarily as The Simpsons whilst our new owners The Flintstones could come up with a name for us and this uncertainty continues to this very day.

The Empires strangle hold was gradually released as the month of January passed by and I continued my gradual climb up the AA ladder and was busily making a list of people from the past who I had pissed off with my AA Sponsor who I affectionately call my Jedi Master.

I have also decided to make names up for all of my AA friends as well as the occupants of my place of work in order to protect their anonymity and to protect myself from litigation.

There were disadvantages to the loss of the Empire as our parent company since where they were an example of far out technological advancement our new owners seemed somehow prehistoric.

Where The Empire was looking towards e-buyer, proclarity and automated e-voicemail The Flintstones were only just mastering there abacus’s and feathered ink pens, there idea of querying how many bricks had been sold to a particular customer was counting the invoices which could be found in the huge library of archived files covered in dust.

Where the IT helpdesk under the wing of the empire had top of the range sophisticated remote control of your PC the Flintstones helpdesk was just in the process of upgrading there Sinclair ZX81’s with the new Spectrum.

On my ½ Year birthday of sobriety we are all to be collectively cut off from the old BaaN database that has drove some of us into states of near hysteria in the past since February 28th 2005 is now known as Judgement Day.

The system we have to take over is called The Potato System and was developed by a guy called J Edwards just before he topped himself and is rumoured to be very primative.

But still we all stick together through it all, in my immediate environment, which is what was a long, time ago called The Central Admin there is just three of us remaining to tell the tale from the clone wars which saw the disappearance of the Empire- The Headmistress/Iron Maiden/Margaret Thatcher (Delete As Applicable) who is considered to be the boss.

A smelly Michael who is slightly improved with his excursion into the AA and has 33% fewer defects thanks to the wonderful AA program but still according to the Headmistress doesn’t change his underpants enough and smells and Marti who is regularly seen on TV.

Many of the Ibots are still battling on, The supreme Ibot spends a lot of time worrying now a days about her brood which since I last wrote about them gained two new members; The Duchess Of Cornwall and Miss Bickerdyke and lost Britney Spears.

Today I am 173 days sober, though you would not think it by reading all this garbage, often my head feels like a washing machine and I simply have to unload all the crap that fills it up in order to keep myself moderately sane.